Murder and Mayhem

It’s chaos out there. Utter chaos. But quarantine is not what’s on my mind this week. No, I’m still reeling from the everyday, run-of-the-mill events of this past week at work. Have you ever taken care of a murderer in your line of work? Nope? Not suprising. (Clue…It was the colonel with the candlestick in the library….)

Well, life and death often go hand in hand; after all, nursing is all about the circle of life. Earlier this week, not only did I help code a murder victim, but I also took care of the accused only hours later. It’s a bit of a surreal feeling; we did our very best, but a gunshot wound to the chest is not something that all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can ever put back together again. And as remorseful as a soul can be, there’s no returning anyone back to life after a split-second action gone wrong. I mourned for everyone involved in the scenario. The young children who no longer have someone to call “Mommy”, the mother who lost her adult child, and the poor soul who “accidentally” discharged the weapon mere feet away from his girlfriend’s chest. His life will be over from this point on. He can never close his eyes and forget what happened or the consequences of his actions. He will be reviled and hated for the rest of his imprisoned days. His tears were real, and far from over. And of course, there were extenuating circumstances. (There always are, it seems like, but I can’t speak to that here.) I shudder to think of what the girl’s family is going through. Unimaginable pain and loss, and the day after Mother’s Day, at that. So, so incredibly sad…..

The night after that, I was called in to work due to an emergency c-section for a 27-weeker who was bleeding and in labor. There were tears in that room that night as well. Tears of fear…and pain…and then JOY when the baby responded to care. It is always miraculeous to see a baby that small respond to modern-day emergency medical care. We are a small hospital — to enjoy the benefits of a NICCU team, we have to call ahead of time and arrange their 1+hour drive to our facility. They work alongside our nurses to stabilize the baby for several hours before loading up and driving the 1+hour back to OKC. They are courage under fire, calm under pressure…it is always amazing to see them at work!

I also took care of my first-ever case of mumps this week. Having never seen it before except in textbooks, it was still immediately recognisable. My first question was, “Have you had your immunizations?” Interestingly enough, it was the doc’s exact same first question, so I knew we were both thinking the same thing. I’m telling you, it’s been a weird week, and it’s not even full moon.

All this is going on while the covid virus is still running amok and causing chaos. Or, at least in our area, the covid restrictions are causing chaos. We have been extremely fortunate to not have the virus in our town, other than a handful of cases which have all been resolved. I hope you have been fortunate wherever you are as well.

2020 has not been a stellar year for anyone. For us, it started with the death of an extended family member hours after the ball dropped to bring in the New Year. Then, an unexpected death of a dear friend on January 4th, and it just went downhill from there. A huge house renovation has hit multiple snags and delays for us during all this. We are still fostering the same child we’ve had for three separate placements now. Parental termination hearings have been delayed several times, but are finally happening in two weeks, if all goes according to plan. We anxiously await to see if we will be able to adopt him. We have been “in limbo” for so long, it seems like we will wait forever to find out. Such is the foster care system, and I repeatedly remind myself that patience is a virtue.

That’s my life in a nutshell, how is yours? We are all in this thing called life together. We may not be in the same vicinity, and our covid restrictions may not look the same, but we are all experiencing loss and change at the same time. We are all learning new things about ourselves, as well as our neighbors and coworkers. If you didn’t know before if you’re considered “essential” or not, you know now. If you didn’t know before if you’re an extrovert or introvert, you certainly know now. ūüôā Perhaps you’ve learned a new skill or taken up a new hobby. Maybe you’ve found new favorite TV shows or movies that have helped you get through this. Maybe you are a better cook, or gardener, or family member, etc, after all of this. I hope this finds you well and slowly returning to a more normal lifestyle. May there be peace in the midst of our chaos, and hope amid our covid fears. I have faith that we will come through this stronger than when we started. We have a better understanding of our fellowman, and a stronger sense of identity. We have hopefully gained a better appreciation for what’s truly important in life, and can take that with us into a better future.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ” John 14:27

                                 Nurse Ames, RN

 

Dixie update

 

For those of you who are wondering how Dixie is doing, here’s a quick Dixie update.

She is craaazzyy. And cute. And cuddly. With a little bit more crazy mixed in. :).She’s got teeth like a piranha. She’s got a tail that can wag 90mph. She dances when she’s excited, which is most of the time. She’s just happy to be alive.

Her favourite pastimes are terrorising the half grown kitten in residence, as well as chewing on anything and everything she can find. I mean, anything. She has taken to even trying to chew on my clothes as I’m walking by. She will nip at my pants as she prances along beside me while I’m walking through the house. If I stop, she’ll reach up and grab on to my T-shirt and start a game of tug of war. If I’m working in the kitchen? The kitchen towel is a free-for-all if I accidentally let it get too close to her level. I basically have to decide how important that particular kitchen towel is, because her little piranha teeth are not letting go. I have caught her chewing on the cupboard doors, the baseboards, the dishwasher, my grandmother’s sewing machine stand, the couch, the refrigerator… nothing is safe from her. At least she is finally potty trained and I seriously thank God for that.

You should see her eyes light up when she’s outside and the chickens or guineas walk by. She starts to chase them but remembers she’s not supposed to, so she stops and follows them with great interest for awhile.

You should see our little foster boy’s eyes light up when he sees her. “Dixie!” he shouts with all the excitement that a 19 month old can muster. He absolutely adores her. Until she wants to chew on him too, and then we have to separate them.

Our two older dogs have agreed to live with her, although neither of them wants to play games with her like she so desperately desires. Our basset hound will occasionally acknowledge her, but the old lab completely ignores her, which isn’t easy to do. And she’s still small enough that the barn cats will swat at her as she walks by, if she tries anything too rambunctious.

All in all, Dixie is a puppy. ¬†Plain and simple. ¬†She’s adorable, frustrating, cute and cuddly, high maintenance… she is behaving exactly like what God made her to be at this point. She teaches my 17 year old responsibility while he learns how to take care of her. She teaches all of us to let loose and enjoy life a little more. She makes us laugh, and to sigh contentedly when she curls up next to us for a short peaceful nap.

If you haven’t considered getting a dog in awhile, consider it. Dogs are such great companions, and they bring so much joy and laughter into your life. That is, if you’re willing to go through the teething stage. That’s a growing time for everyone. :).

Here’s to Dixie, may she live long and well. With plenty of chew toys along the way. And here’s to our house, may it stay standing in the wake of her path.

Have a great day, everyone, and enjoy the cute and cuddly ones in your life, whoever or whatever they may be.

                          Nurse Ames, RN

Quasimodo’s house on fire

“France is crying, and the whole world, too.”– Ruairi Casey

September 11, 2001.  Do you remember where you were?  What you were doing? How you felt as you watched the towers fall? …April 19, 1995, 9:02 A.M.  How about that one?  Does that bring back sharp memories? Do you remember the agony of knowing your fellow Americans lie trapped beneath the rubble?  Think back further…Remember the day the Challenger exploded, the day the Berlin wall came down, the day the Gulf War started? How about the day they finally got Osama Bin Laden? I remember the headlines–that day felt pretty victorious in America, almost like a party.

This past week was to be the week that we as Oklahomans gathered together to remember those lost on April 19, 1995. Each year our collective memories gear up for the anniversary of our loss as a state.  Each year, I try to teach my kids the importance of learning about history from those who can remember it personally, not just by learning it from a history book.  I remind them that as their generation takes its place in history, they will someday have their own events burned on their collective conscience.  History that they will pass on to their own kids as a memory instead of from a history book. History is alive in the hearts and minds of those who’ve lived it–it’s personal.  While I can relate to them what it felt like to sit in school and learn about the Challenger exploding, they can go to their grandparents to hear firsthand stories of when Armstrong walked on the moon, or when Kennedy was shot.  It’s way more interesting to hear about it firsthand than to listen to your history teacher lecture about it while you try to stay awake in class.

So, this past week started with generations worth of historical memories already lying on the back burner of everyone’s mind.  It’s usually good for at least one Evening News recap–April is rife with historical events.  The sinking of the Titanic, Lincoln’s assassination, Boston Marathon Bombings, Oklahoma City bombing, Columbine shootings …Tax Day….the list is long and tedious.

And then I walked into a patient’s room this week and watched in horror as another historical event played out on the TV screen in front of me.  I was discharging a patient when I actually realized what was happening–I literally stopped talking mid-sentence, my mouth agape.  Tears sprang to my eyes as I watched in disbelief.  I could hardly stand to watch as I saw the flames and smoke of Notre Dame shoot higher than the great cathedral ever dreamed of reaching. Friends started texting me-“Did you see the news??”  Coworkers passed the word through the halls while the news spread like wildfire on social media. And as we watched her burn, we began sharing stories.  Reminiscing who had seen her when, and what was our favourite memory of her.   I had witnessed Notre Dame’s great beauty myself less than two years ago.  I was awestruck by her magnificence and had every intention of returning sooner rather than later to see her again.  Now I watched from almost 5,000 miles away as 850+years of history burned to the ground.  What mankind had managed to preserve for centuries was now gone in a matter of hours.

That evening I hugged my kids, and cried a few more tears for the majestic building that was now only a shell of its former self .  I related my memories of my time there, and we mourned her loss together. Then we talked.  “…Kids, remember when I’ve told you that your generation will have events that will go down in history, just like all the generations before? And that you will have your own ‘live’ version of that to pass on to your kids?  Here is one that will be in history books.  Remember what you were doing, where you were at, so that it is easier to bring it back to mind. Just as I can remember the day when Princess Diana died,  I want you to be able to remember the day Notre Dame burned.  Because you are a part of history yourself.  And how you relate to history and the world around you affects your life on a daily basis.”

I hope they can soak up my knowledge–what I’ve learned from my love for history, travel, and the world around me.    I hope what I’ve learned in my lifetime is not in vain, that they can retain it and use it for themselves.  So that they too have a love for life and respect for all mankind.  That they can pass it on and make the world a better place.  And I’m glad for my memories.  And my pictures of myself and that grand beauty.  For she was a building like no other.  I hope she is rebuilt, stronger and better than before.  That her purpose remains the same.  To point others to God as well as continue on as a historical legacy for generations to come.  To be an inspiration, a source of beauty, a place of worship, a safe haven.  She unites not only the people of France, but mankind as a whole.  I am so thankful to have been one of the millions to have passed through her doors and found peace within.

                        Nurse Ames, RN